It was a day.

I sat at the table with my junior and senior students, explaining a major theme from Moby Dick. Or at least trying to explain it. I realized the more I spoke, the less I really understood what I was talking about.  But by golly, I kept trying, which kept making things worse. By the blank looks on my students’ faces, I could tell they were very aware of my utter cluelessness but were doing their best to be polite about it.

Next class – composition. As we began I suddenly realized I hadn’t yet edited the previous assignment which would have been helpful for the students to start on the next step of their thesis papers. Ugh! 

At the end of the day I realized I had forgotten to take attendance and also failed to get back to a student about his make-up work.

What am I even doing???

I hate it when so many shortcomings pile up in one day. I can take it if they’re spread out in multiple days. But sometimes they come in droves and then I’m just left feeling defeated.

Job 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.”

The enemy really wants to bring us low. He wants us to doubt ourselves and make us feel like our efforts are worthless. He wants us to give up.

But we can’t let the bad days get us down! What if every day was good? What if every day I remembered everything I needed to remember and did everything perfectly and never messed up? I think my head might stop fitting through the doorway.

Maybe bad days are okay. Maybe they keep me grounded in my depravity. Maybe they remind me to keep looking to God.

Psalm 37:24 reminds me that, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.”

With God holding onto my hand, I might stumble, but I won’t crash and burn. The bad days won’t destroy me. My mistakes won’t steal my confidence. And then when right around the corner comes one of those excellent days when everything comes together and things go unexpectedly well,  I can appreciate the fact that it is not by my own power, but by the power of the One who delights in me and orders my steps.

God, help me to thank you for the good days and keep trusting you in the not-so-good ones.