I sometimes wonder what Joseph felt like at the end of the long journey to Bethlehem. Ah at last! Time for a meal and a warm bed! The trip he and Mary had made was somewhere between 70-90 miles and would have taken anywhere from four to ten days. What rotten timing for the government to decide he needed to travel to his hometown for a census  – right when Mary was about to burst with child. He must have really looked forward to getting her to a nice, safe, comfortable place.

How crushed and disappointed did he feel at the realization that every last room at the inn was booked?  If that would’ve been my husband, I know he would have felt terrible. I should have gotten here sooner! I should have made a reservation! I should have thought of something! I wonder how upset Joseph felt when they headed to the barn out back. Did he blame himself as he and his nine-month-pregnant wife were forced to search for comfort on the dirty, dusty floor of a barn?

It’s very easy for me to look back at circumstances in the past and wish I would’ve handled things differently. The years Lexi battled with mental illness and addiction were full of questions and turmoil, trial and error, missteps, mistakes, and wrong directions. To this day, it’s easy to beat myself up for not understanding how to help her or wishing I could have been better at finding solutions to her struggles. 

What if we had done things differently?

This is a question that sometimes haunts me, but a question that will continue to get me nowhere. It is a question that has its roots in a lack of trust in God. The way I must look at our situation is that we did absolutely everything God led us to do at the time. We did our very best with what we knew. And even though I may not understand it, God had a plan in it all.

Could it be that God’s will is not for everything to always be shiny and perfect? Could it be that He wants us to trust in Him, so that in the midst of our imperfection, He can show us His provision?

Two thousand years ago, a young mother laid the Savior of the Universe, God’s Holy Son, in a feeding trough for animals. Was that ideal by human standards? No. I don’t think any of us could imagine those conditions for a newborn infant. But that was exactly the way that God wanted it to be. Our Savior’s birth points us to the life of simple humility that we Christians are to follow.

So…what if we spent less time regretting decisions we have made in the past, fewer moments stewing over what we could have done differently, and more time thanking God for providing for our needs each step of the way? What if we trusted that our failures are actually His way of working out His will?

God sometimes chooses to work in ways that to us seem confusing, unsatisfactory, less than ideal. But we can trust that He will use our imperfect selves for our good and His glory. The Christmas story is living proof!

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are allied according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28