I can’t do this anymore. The pain is too great. And there is no end in sight. I don’t want to go on.

It was six months after Lexi passed away. I still could not accept the fact that she was gone forever. I missed her more than my heart could bear. How do you come to terms with something  so unbelievably hard? How do you learn to face a truth that hurts in every inch of your being? How do you continue going to sleep at night knowing you will wake up again to the same impossible reality every morning? Was this to be my life forever?   

What do we do when we can’t see hope because of the fear, doubt, and pain that surrounds us? When the darkness around us is all-encompassing and all-consuming? 

We fight.

Psalm 42, which I had always loved, became a lifeline for me.

“Why, my soul are you downcast? 

Why so disturbed within me? 

Put your hope in God, 

For I will yet praise Him,

My Savior and my God.”

The psalmist is suffering deep despair. “Tears have been my food day and night,” he laments. “My bones suffer mortal agony.” But then he fights against this despair by preaching to himself. 

“Put your hope in God!” 

The enemy is trying to break us down. He uses tragic events in our lives to try to get us to turn from God. He puts lies in our hearts and minds. “God doesn’t really love you or he wouldn’t put you through this. God is not here when you need him most. Who knows if God even exists? Prayer does no good. You’ll never survive this, so just give up.”

But we must fight back! This is a spiritual war! We must preach to our souls: “Stop! Put your hope in God!” We must attack those lies at every turn. Yes, they will creep in our heads. But we can’t let them stay. 

And how do we redirect them? The psalmist turns to praise. He does not let his broken heart stop him from praising and worshipping his Savior. He determines that he will continue to acknowledge the goodness and faithfulness of his Creator.

Isaiah expresses this same determination when he is faced with suffering. “Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.” (Isaiah 50:7)

Flint is a very hard rock – the perfect analogy for Isaiah to use to show the firmness of his soul and his dedication to his calling, even in the midst of difficulty. This verse is also seen as prophetic, describing Jesus’s unwavering determination to fulfill his purpose to suffer and die on this earth.

So in the midst of life’s ups and downs, let’s keep battling! Let’s fight off darkness and despair with thanks and praise. I am living proof that we can find peace if we just keep pushing through. 

Let’s preach to ourselves today and every day. Whether the skies are blue or whether dark storms are pouring upon us. “Put your hope in God!” He is our ONLY HOPE.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

Romans 8:37