It’s a beautiful day for a roller coaster ride. The bright red track stretches before me, promising an exhilarating rush. Soon we are racing through the air and the wind is whipping through my hair as I enjoy the twists and turns and loops.  

Suddenly the ride changes. I am no longer sitting in the roller coaster car but hanging from it as if from a trapeze, the ground looming far below my dangling feet. The ride speeds up and I have no choice but to take a breath and hang on. Everyone around me seems to be laughing, soaring along with confidence, having no problem, but my mind is in terror as I grip the bar above me as hard as I can, bracing myself for the bumps ahead. As we sail around a corner I feel my fingers start to slide and I try with all my might to squeeze the bar with my fingertips. I sigh with relief when the ride slows a bit and I can retighten my grip. But up ahead I see a huge loop and my stomach jumps with panic. We pick up speed and race ahead and I close my eyes and hang on for dear life.

Then…there is a strange whimpering in my ear. I open my eyes and find myself in my dark bedroom. I am safe in my bed, Leo panting beside me, begging to be let outside. 

As I try to fall back asleep, the images and emotions from the dream continue to float through my mind. Is this my life? I wonder to myself. Am I just barely hanging on, subconsciously living in fear of the unknown that lies ahead, unsure of my abilities to navigate it all? 

Psalm 63:8 comes to mind. “My soul clings to you.” That is what it feels like sometimes. As life throws me twists and turns that are out of my control, I desperately cling to God for hope.

But the verse has a second part. “Your right hand upholds me.”   

What a comforting realization. I don’t have to worry about struggling to hang on. God is there, lifting me up with His powerful hand. He’s like a safety harness, holding me safe as I navigate all the scary bumps and unexpected loop-de-loops. I don’t have to strain, struggle, or stress. I can actually relax, let go, and trust Him to carry me.  I might even be able to enjoy the ride that way.      

Thank you, God, that it’s not up to me to hold on to you. Thank you that You are holding onto me.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

Isaiah 26:3