Competitiveness is a form of selfishness. True?

This is something my husband and I like to debate. We both love to watch and play sports. He argues that competition is a good thing that drives a person to be their very best. But I see a negative side. Sometimes I get so caught up in winning that that becomes my focus. And I feel pride and selfishness at the root.

In many areas of life it is easy to get wrapped up in competition and comparison. We look at other people at our place of work, church, or wherever, and try to decide how we measure up. When this happens, we sometimes see ourselves as superior and start thinking we’re better than others, but most often we wind up feeling inadequate or ungrateful, wishing for something someone else has or wanting what they can do that we can not. Mark Twain’s quote rings true: “Comparison is the death of joy.”

I had a refreshing experience at a writing conference last week. You might think that there would be a competitive edge when you get a bunch of women together trying to promote their books and other writing projects. But that wasn’t the case at all! We excitedly shared our ideas with one another and everyone was genuinely interested in encouraging and supporting each other. Because truthfully, we are all on the same team—God’s team. We all have the common goal of wanting to share His hope and love. 

I think the antidote to competition and comparison is gratitude and God-glorification.

If I start racking up the list of things I’m thankful for, I stop looking at what others have or are doing and start appreciating my own situation. It can begin with something as simple as indoor plumbing (I seriously don’t know how my mom survived that outhouse on the farm on those cold winter mornings). There are so many amazingly good things in my life right in front of my eyes. 

Then I kick my focus off trying to make myself look good and start worrying about making God look good. He is the One who deserves the glory. This is actually such a relief. I don’t have to worry about out-doing anyone else; I just have to do what God has called ME to do. The only thing I should compare myself to is His standard, and the only one I should look to for approval is Him. And whenever God is glorified, it’s an automatic win.

2 Corinthians 10:12 and 17 sum it up: “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.”