January 4, 2018, the day my 21-year-old daughter Lexi passed away, my life changed forever.

The knowledge that I would never see her big, brown eyes again on this earth, never laugh with her again, never look at her latest sketch or listen to a new song together…my heart couldn’t hold the gravity of it. I truly was drowning in an ocean of grief with no hope of ever making it to the surface and finding my breath again.

I found myself putting on a fake smile and going through the motions, while inside my heart was so heavy I felt I could sink into the ground. I began questioning my purpose. So much of my time had gone into helping her navigate life. That calling was swept out from under me, leaving me feeling empty. I was wracked with guilt for not being able to do something to save my daughter. The pain hovered over me and wrapped itself around me no matter what I tried to do. Nights were restless and days were just about survival. My mind battled against itself constantly.

Desperate for answers, I felt myself crying out to God in anguish and frustration, begging for him to help me. And what I felt was him gently and quietly pointing me to the truth found in his Word.

In the book of Ruth, Naomi felt the pain of loss times three. Not only did she lose both her sons, but also her husband. And she was living in a foreign land! Her intense grief can be felt in the sorrowful words she speaks:

“…the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” (1:13)

“…the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.” (1:20)

“…Lord has brought me back empty…the Almighty has brought calamity upon me.” (1:21)

Naomi’s heart is heavy with grief. And she acknowledges the Lord’s hand in it all. She refers to him as “Shaddai,’” Sovereign One. She doesn’t express anger or animosity towards him, just simply acknowledges that he is the one in control of her life and of the loss that she has suffered. We hear the sorrow dripping from her words. But Naomi surrenders to God’s sovereign plan and continues to humbly obey him. 

And then she witnesses a succession of miraculous blessings that transpire right before her eyes. Her daughter-in-law Ruth insists on returning home to Bethlehem with her. There Ruth earns favor with a wealthy businessman, Boaz, who eventually buys Naomi’s family’s land, redeeming the name of her deceased husband, and taking Ruth for a wife. They give birth to a son, who becomes a “restorer of life” to Naomi. Naomi is now surrounded by a loving family to care for her and a grandson to bring her joy. 

The women of the town praise God with Naomi, saying, “Blessed be the name of the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer.” God is once again acknowledged as the one who is in charge of all things, and who graciously provided for Naomi and “redeemed” her life from one of darkness to one of hope and light.

Yet this is just the very tip of the iceberg of the blessings. The true blessing will happen decades later when the offspring of Naomi’s grandson is born – Jesus, the Messiah, who will forever redeem his people from their sins.

God never could have worked in this miraculous way in Naomi’s life had she not experienced the loss and the pain. And we can find this to be true in our own lives – some of the most priceless treasures that we experience are found in the midst of our deepest and darkest heartaches. God is sovereign over our lives and wants to redeem our brokenness. If we trust him and continue to look to His Word, he will be faithful.