“There was a day when I died; died to self, my opinions, preferences, tastes, and will; died to the world, its approval or censure; died to the approval or blame even of my brethren or friends; and since then I have studied only to show myself approved unto God.”                                              

George Muller

This quote immediately grabbed my attention when I read it. Probably because I struggle so much with the approval of others. 

I admired my husband from the moment I met him because he was so opposite. This is me, you get what you get, like it or not – I don’t care! 

Could it be my Mennonite upbringing? Growing up, we had an image to uphold! Everybody was supposed to look good on the outside, regardless of what went on behind closed doors. 

Maybe it’s my personality. I’m an enneagram 9 – I hate conflict and want to make everybody happy. I’m a people-pleaser.

Or maybe it’s just simply human pride. We naturally want others to look up to us, respect us, and admire us. We want to look like we have it all together. 

In writing these blog posts, I have often doubted and second-guessed myself. At times, I have wanted to grab back the vulnerable words. What if someone gets it wrong or disagrees or thinks of me differently? What if someone doesn’t approve?

But what good does that do? If we aren’t real, will we ever be able to connect with other people?

This is a lesson I learned from Lexi, who took after her dad. She was one of those people who was just naturally open; she put herself out there, and people gravitated towards her. She and I had some deep and difficult conversations about vulnerability. She loved how people were willing to share with her when she took the first step and opened up with them. What an example she was to me, and still is to this very day. When I find myself shrinking back, I remember her beautiful heart. And then try to throw my safe and secretive Mennonite mindset out the window!

The truth is that we do not need to worry about gaining the approval of anyone in this world. Not our boss, our peers, our friends, or our family. “Seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)  If our goal is to make God happy, everything else will fall into place.

Sometimes I think I can compromise. I’ll just try to please God AND everyone else. But it doesn’t work that way. Paul says that if his focus is to please others, he cannot adequately serve God. “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)

Even in the midst of persecution, he writes, “We are not trying to please people, but God, who tests our hearts.” (1 Thessalonians 2:4) God has to have the sole place at number one.

And Jesus is our ultimate example – he was completely free from thoughts of pride or reputation. His single purpose was obedience to His Father, no matter what others thought about Him or what the cost.

I  wonder what my life would look like if I was totally unburdened from caring what other people think. What if I didn’t have to prove myself to others in any way? What if in every single decision I made, my only concern was simply whether or not I was pleasing God?

I will keep reminding myself of this truth and continue trying to work on it. But in the meantime…I really hope you like this.  🙂