Shortly after Lexi passed away, a friend called to comfort me. She is one of the most caring and kind people I know. But her words stung my heart.

“You know, God didn’t want this to happen. It was not his will for her to die. It’s just because of the state of our sinful and fallen world that these things happen.”

I have heard other people say similar things when bad things happen. “This was not God’s plan. God wants us to be happy. A good God would not have caused you pain.” 

But this is not the God I know. This is not the God of the Bible.    

First of all, I’m not sure where we get the idea that God wants us to be happy all the time. Why do we associate a God who is “good” with one who will always make our lives pleasant and easy? It would have made my kids happy if they were allowed to eat candy for every meal. Am I a “bad” parent for not allowing that? Just because things don’t always go our way does not mean God is not good.

We can see this clearly in the Bible. When did God ask anyone to do something easy? God actually gave his people pretty hard tasks, things they didn’t want to do or didn’t think they could do. He chose people to go through difficult and hard experiences. He gave Noah the task of building an ark and withstanding a worldwide flood. He told Moses to go before Pharoah and to lead his people through the wilderness for forty years. Jonah was commanded to go preach to the evil city of Nineveh. Daniel faced a den of hungry lions. The apostle Paul went through persecution at every turn as he spread the gospel, and all but one of Jesus’s disciples ended up being martyred for their faith. 

And…God’s very own Son died one of the most cruel and painful deaths ever invented by man.

So no, God does not intend for everything to always be hunky-dory.

Because he didn’t just stand by and watch these things happen. He didn’t just allow them. He planned them. Acts 2:23 says, “Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men.” Before the beginning of time, God formulated this plan for his Son to suffer in order to save his people. And he did it out of his goodness and love for us.

Could it be that our suffering is also a part of God’s loving plan? And that he has a purpose behind it?

Philippians 1:29 tells us, “For it has been granted for you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake.” Peter reiterates it: “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.” (1 Peter 2:21)

It may seem like a very harsh reality for someone who is hurting and grieving, to hear that God allowed and even planned for them to go through pain. But it is actually how I have found so much comfort. Lexi’s death did not happen randomly. It was within the divine plan of a loving Creator. Her days were numbered before she took her first breath. The God of heaven and earth loves her and had a specific purpose for her life and her death. It is all within his control.

I can have peace knowing that “For those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)  We are not called to our own purpose. we are called to HIS purpose. And his purpose is good! God not only has a plan for our pain, but he will equip us and guide us and use us through it.

How glad I am that God is not a careless being who is disconnected from his creation. Or a powerless being who is sitting up in heaven watching things spin out of control. No, we have a loving, caring, powerful, sovereign God. And we can trust in his perfect plan.

Charles Spurgeon says it beautifully: “When you go through a trial, the sovereignty of God is the pillow upon which you lay your head.”

Thank you, God, that all that happens to us comes from your loving hand. Help us to trust your purpose for us, even when we don’t understand.