The Halloween costumes have barely been put away and here comes Christmas! The lights and the trees and the music are already everywhere! But what if the sights and sounds of the holiday don’t bring feelings of joy and excitement? What if the thought of Thanksgiving and Christmas leaves you feeling fearful, anxious, or sorrowful?

Maybe this year someone you love is sick. Or struggling. Or no longer here.

This will be my sixth holiday season without Lexi. The sixth time without my daughter who loved absolutely everything about the holidays, and who brought so much life and light to the celebrations. Her absence leaves a huge hole in everything we do.

It’s easy for me to dwell on the empty chair and what I will not have this season. But over the past six years, I’ve learned that life doesn’t always bring Hallmark card holidays. Things happen that threaten to steal our joy. But…sometimes there is something deeper to be gained from holiday celebrations. 

When holidays are difficult, it gives us an opportunity to rely on God’s strength. On my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without Lexi, I felt very weak. Deep down, I wanted to avoid the celebrations altogether. But avoiding pain, though it may feel like an easy solution, is not what is best for us. It will never help us heal or move in a positive direction. I learned that in order to process my grief of losing Lexi, I had to push through holiday celebrations without her, and allow myself to feel. This meant I really needed strength from God.

I held tightly to Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I didn’t have to be strong all the time. I just had to pray for the power of Christ to rest on me.

And now when I look back, I see how God provided for my needs in so many ways. Yes, there were moments that were extremely painful. But there were also moments when my heart was filled with pure joy. And that was only possible by the awesome grace of God resting on me!

By pressing forward through hard things, we learn that God is faithful. The more we lean on him, the more we will be amazed by his provision, and the more our trust will grow. And even during emotionally charged times like the holidays, we will find peace and joy.

Thank you, God, that you promise to provide us strength when we need it most, especially when our hearts seem to be falling apart. Thank you for opportunities to rely on you more!