“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.”
Psalm 23:4-5
I don’t know what the new year will bring. But I do know one thing – God is with me.
The year will most likely bring moments of trial and heartache – shadows of death. There will also be times of blessing – overflowing cups of joy. And no matter what, through it all, whether I always feel Him or not, God will be present.
These first few days of the new year have reflected both of these extremes for me.
As I write this, I am anticipating Saturday with a heavy heart. January 4 marks seven years since Lexi’s soul left this earth and moved on to heaven. As the day approaches, I feel the weight of remembrance. The knock at the door that night…the earth-shattering news…the shock to my heart…the tormenting pain that took over every fiber of my being. My life was changed forever. This week that “shadow” of the reality of death revisits me. Death – the effect of sin and the necessary end to this life. The fear and trepidation it brings. The deep sadness of missing someone who was such a big part of my heart and life. Through it all, God is right beside me.
Also as I write this, my heart is experiencing the feeling of an “overflowing cup.” Last week, a new life entered this world. My daughter Cassidy gave birth to my first grandson. I can’t remember the last time I felt such a feeling of excitement as I drove to the hospital, so eager to find out who this new person would be. I felt like I could burst! And then meeting little Arthur Jacob (AJ) when he was just moments old, a healthy 7lb 12oz bundle of cuteness, was pure elation. Seeing your daughter and son-in-law embrace a new little life and watching them feel the unexplainable love of their own offspring is truly an amazing experience. And once again, God’s goodness and presence has been so evident through it all.
Loss and new life. Sorrow and happiness. Struggle and peace. Pain and hope.
You are with me.
David wrote Psalm 23 a thousand years before Jesus came into the world to make the sacrifice for our sins, and a thousand years before the coming of the Holy Spirit. But he felt the presence of God, throughout all circumstances of life. He felt the same extremes, but He knew His Shepherd was there, comforting him with His rod and staff, preparing a table of provision for him, pouring out His goodness and mercy as he walked his days on this earth, and promising a life in the house of the Lord for all eternity.
What a promise, what a gift. No matter what happens – good, bad, and in between – God is with us.
Kris, what a wonderful way to start the week. In your words I feel a shadow of your pain and I get a glimpse of your joy. Thank you for your faithfulness in sharing your story. Keep being awesome!